If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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