Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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