Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
