Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
