There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
