Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Randomize
