But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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