You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
