Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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