Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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