i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
