I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
apparently the secret to your success is patron
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
