don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
