how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I touched a dick in church today
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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