So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
