dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
