next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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