the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
