Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
