I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
