Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
In America we eat man semen.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
