You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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