I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My bed smells like the plague
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