i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
