Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.