when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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