Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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