In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
