You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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