yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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