you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
