Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize