Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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