Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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