Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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