i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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