Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
