I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
