dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
