Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
