??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
