fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
