you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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