Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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