Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
