hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
