well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
