I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
