member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
please come you make the beer taste better
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
