Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
