ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
