I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
