Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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