Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
