I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
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I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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