Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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