I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
