got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
