I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
