We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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