I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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