the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
