I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just cropdusted the office
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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