Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
