My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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