Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
